Two weeks ago a very close coworker passed away. I have
worked with her for several years. This school term, I was paired with her to
teach our social emotional advisement class. We developed a close bond and
shared personal story with the students. The day she passed was the most
difficult day in my teaching career. My principal called me in to inform me
about my coworker's death around midday. I was informed that a crisis team
from the district was on the way to the school. The principal inform me that the students will know near
the end of the school day. My principal informed that I should get my bearings together and be strong for my
students. I was assigned to the grief room as the crisis team went from room to
room. A senses to sadness and
quiet covered the once vibrant halls. Once the students started to come to the
grief room crying, it became really hard for me to manage my emotions. I had
never had to comfort children in a situation like this before. I had no idea
what to say. The only thing I could do was hug them. This experience helped me to relaize that leadership takes on different forms. This includes the ability to relate and connect emotionally with others. Sometime words are not enough, but having an emotional connections is very important.
Omar, I can understand where you are coming from and what you are feeling. We had the same thing happen at our school last year with our ESOL department chair. She has been at our school for 15 years and has made a huge impact on our ESOL students as well as other teachers. I will say this, I understand where your principal is coming from in being strong for your students. But you are human and had a close relationship with this teacher. You can't help your feelings. We just had the one year anniversary of the death of her and we got together as a department and went out after school to celebrate her life and share in her memory. It's okay to show emotions in front of your students.
ReplyDeleteOmar
ReplyDeleteFirst, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is so difficult and then being asked to stay strong for students only multiplies the emotions. I totally agree with Ashley. It is okay to show our students that we are emotional too. In many situations, students see us only as authoritative figures or discipline personnel. They do not always see us human. Showing students that we are people and at times are vulnerable breaks some barriers that may be in the way of connections. Sometimes saying nothing speaks volumes and the fact that you just hugged them, meant more than anything you could have said. My opinion? The hugs were comforting for students AND you. Never be afraid to show that side of you, Omar. It can make some deep and lasting connections to students!! Again, I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that you all can lean on each other through this terrible loss.
Omar
ReplyDeleteFirst, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is so difficult and then being asked to stay strong for students only multiplies the emotions. I totally agree with Ashley. It is okay to show our students that we are emotional too. In many situations, students see us only as authoritative figures or discipline personnel. They do not always see us human. Showing students that we are people and at times are vulnerable breaks some barriers that may be in the way of connections. Sometimes saying nothing speaks volumes and the fact that you just hugged them, meant more than anything you could have said. My opinion? The hugs were comforting for students AND you. Never be afraid to show that side of you, Omar. It can make some deep and lasting connections to students!! Again, I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that you all can lean on each other through this terrible loss.
I'm sorry for your loss. I think what you showed was an extraordinary example of what it takes to be a leader. I don't think there is ever a time where dealing with the death of a loved one is easy. But for you to be able to compose yourself and be strong for your students I think it shows you have what it takes to be the backbone and support that others may need when there is no one else capable of stepping up. Continue to be a beacon of light to those around you, and encourage others to be strong through observing your strength.
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