There was an incident at my school where I was called to remove a student from a teacher's class. As I began to question the student regarding the incident, she stated:
"You don't know me, you don't care about me even though you all pretend that you care, you really don't. The only time you all administrators want to talk to us is when we get in trouble, then you want to pretend that you care and all this other stuff. You don't even know my name. So if you don't know my name, how can you say that you care?"
This really broke my heart because at my school, we try very hard to provide a circle of support for our students because for a lot of them, we are their last chance at a high school diploma. This young lady touched on a very important issue that I have struggled with the farther away I have moved from the classroom. For over 13 years as a classroom teacher, I prided myself on building relationships and knowing my students. Now all I ever interact with are the students who are being disruptive to the learning environment. This was a wake up call for me to remember that as I go along this journey in administration to remember to stop and get to know my students and not wait until they are sent to my office for an infraction. I would appreciate any and all suggestions for building relationships with students as an administrator.
Great post. Thanks for sharing. You are correct that it is all about relationships. I am sure you do more than you think you are doing at building relationships. It is tough to know every student in the school and you cannot let one student's attitude affect the way you feel. I am sure you are doing this but look for ways to be intentional in learning student's backgrounds, strengths and weaknesses. I have found that if I am "real" towards students, instead of all formal and stuffy, then they know I am a genuine person. But, we have all been in the situation you are in. The student probably felt like no one knows them and they took this out on you.
ReplyDeleteKemi, I agree with JP. You probably know more of your students than you feel you. But I agree with you about being in the classroom. We did interact with more students when we were in the classroom. One of the things I enjoy about education is talking with students and getting to know them. You can learn so much when you really talk with them. Each student has a ‘story’ and I am amazed at some of their stories. We never really know about our students until we take the time to know them. As a 9th grade administrator, I deal with a lot of discipline. With every student that comes in my office, I take a few minutes to talk with them, learn something about them before I talk about the discipline issue. I take notes and write little tid bits down in a journal. Chances are I will see that student again. And when I do, I always ask them about something we previously discussed. I walk the halls in the mornings speaking to students, given some a high-five, speaking to them in an informal manner, kidding around with them. During students lunch periods, I walk the aisles speaking to students, sometimes sitting with them and just talking. For the most part, students respond well to me being there, however, there are some that are annoyed by my presence. But I still do it I try to attend many of our school functions so that students know I am interested in what they are doing. When I do classroom visits or observations, I always talk with the students in the class. I will walk around the room and ask questions. They respond well to this too. Our jobs are very demanding and exhausting at times but it so important to interact with students.
ReplyDeleteSomeone mentioned this to me a few years ago and I am paraphrasing. Kids will never show you what they know until they know that you care. All we can continue to do when working with students is do our best. Treat all students from a culturally sensitive perspective.
ReplyDeleteWe (Teachers and Administrators) miss so many opportunities to "get to know" students!!! One school that I taught and was a lead teacher at developed a two-week "Character Camp." Prior to any instruction, students rotated through a series of activities designed to develop relationships, trust and for the long range - character. That experience has a major impact on the entire culture of the school. Sometimes, we need to make hard choices - leave the readin' and writin' for a while and get to the lovin'!
ReplyDelete